What it is like to be a single mother and to be raised by one.
“She got up at 5:00 AM every day to attend the cricket academy. She loathed cricket, or any other sport for that matter, could barely play, yet she was there. She was a single lady among fifteen men. Her presence perplexed some and amazed all. One day the coach couldn’t resist asking her why she was learning a sport she could not even tolerate watching on TV. Her answer stunned the crowd. She said,”It’s the only way I can bond with my 9 year old son.”
Yes, a single mom is what she was. ”
Being a single mother is probably one of the toughest tasks God ever left for humans. Imagine you are flying on a plane when suddenly the pilot decides to leave and you’re left to operate a plane all by yourself. Single parenting is just as hard or even worse since there is no parachute.
The biggest obstacle that single mothers have to face is the mindset of the society. Our society takes it upon its “able” shoulders to scare away a lady from even the thought of single parenting. Relatives will lament to the mother stories of how single parent kids end up ruining their lives. The right atmosphere necessary to encourage a single mother and to make her child feel like any other normal kid is really hard to be found.
Every single mother strives to give her child a normal life. In this conquest, she has to completely lose her own self. She has to manage all the household chores and be the bread winner of the family. Even after the sun sets, the day does not end for her. Spending quality time with kids is a luxury which every single mother cannot afford. Consequently, their social lives also take a deep dive. Going out on kitty parties, lunches become an annual thing because if not for them then who would look after their children.
The grim reality is that everyone needs a partner or at least most people do, it is a basic human need. Even “The Hulk” needed a partner whereas these single mothers are real life people who can’t just drink a tonic to conquer the world. Dating is still not an option for many single mothers for mainly two reasons: Firstly, it is frowned upon by their own friends and relatives. Secondly, the fear of the inability of their kids to accept a step parent looms in their heart. As a result, they spend most of their lives alone which is as daunting as it sounds.
Life is not only hard for a single mother but also for the single parent child. Having friends with a couple parent makes them feel that they are different from others which is a nauseating feeling. Children gradually begin asking questions about reasons for separation which is at times hurtful to talk about for both of them. An unanswered question persists in their minds, whether having fighting parents could have been better than separated ones?
Single mothers are real life heroes. They single handedly raise a child and are responsible for making the child strong, confident and independent. Their kids might not be leading the traditional lives of an Indian child but they surely are being brought up in a way that they stand undefeated in any field, in any corner of the world. They are raised by warriors themselves.
Single mothers are women phenomenally. Phenomenal women, that’s she.
About the Author:
Shreya Arya (GCCBA Sec 50)