TURNING AROUND

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I know what you go through,

I know I give you a hard time,

I know what it’s like,

To be bullied all the time,

I’ve been through it,

I faced it when I was a  child,

I think that is how the world works,

Survival of the fittest?

Is that why the fats don’t survive?

In a world full of gyms and fitness freaks,

I was always the one with a chocolate bar,

In a time of skinny fit trends,

All I had was sagging skin and cellulite with no ends,

It didn’t feel so good,

I came to hate myself,

Despising every bit of me,

Later transforming me

To someone I was never meant to be,

then when I changed entirely,

You walked in,

Confidently, proudly, and fondly

Speaking of your body,

without doubt,

You seemed comfortable,

I pitied you,

Felt bad for you for being naive,

But that didn’t change anything,

The more sorry I felt for you,

The stronger you grew,

Proving me wrong,

I saw my failure,

In you,

In the way you looked,

In the fact that I was weak.

But I was too stuck-up

To accept any defeat,

that’s when I decided,

Promised myself,

Promised to teach you a lesson,

To tell you what you should’ve known,

Its a big bad world out there,

With no space for big girls to fit in.

And thats when it started,

I never meant to hurt you,

Never meant to target you,

Never meant to tag you,

and I swear,

My intentions were pure,

I wanted to be all good,

Without realising I should’ve been there,

Reaching out to you,

But we’ve come too far now,

I can’t make it stop,

We’ve come too away from the past now,

I can’t change the future,

It is what it is,

I loathe you for loving yourself,

And I can’t turn it back.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Saugat Suri – Gargi College,DU

 

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