Rape is not just a word but it’s a life changing catastrophe, a torture till lifetime and continuously pricking affliction. People make jokes on it, never realizing how appalling and cruel it is for the people who face it. I stood on the cliff of emotions ready to jump off it, just to see how it feels as a woman to face such a disaster! But rather decided to walk down to witness some painful incidents which might broke your heart too.
“I remember leaving my house with a red face, shivering body and a fast beating heart. I had a fight with my mother, so I decided to go on a walk for a while to take in some fresh air and pacify my nerves. I could hear the thumping beats of my heart in my ears as I walked down the lane. I’d decided that I’ll take a round of the park and come back within 15 minutes. Mom couldn’t tolerate me going out of the house after 8! All that time, I was furious and anxious to know why I was not treated the way my brother was. This was not done!
As I reached the corner of the park, I felt scared for a moment because it was too lonely, but later I convinced myself that it was just darkness and nothing else. As I kept walking boldly, there came a hand out of nowhere grabbing my mouth and dragging me all the way to the same darkness. It was not just a single hand, but 6 of them! They were three, with fierce eyes, alcoholic breath, and dangerous face. They took me into loneliness; it was not just my clothes they tore but my soul too. One held me tightly, the other covering my mouth and the third ‘excusing himself into me’. I tried to scream but couldn’t; I wanted to cast away those dirty hands moving all over my naked body but was helpless. They were all over me and I, I was trapped beneath them begging for my life. They took turns to rape me, one after the other they ravaged my body and immortalized the scars forever. I couldn’t feel anything but a warm tear drop running down my cold face. They didn’t spare me, they were monsters of lust and my whole body was a toy. They played with it until I was unconscious because I never wanted to wake up. I wished it to be nightmare but it wasn’t.
Now, I feel dirty all the time. I am not clean but a stigma on the family as everybody say! I’ve understood that I can never be like my brother. “
As I was walking down the cliff I realized that nobody can ever apprehend the plight of these people. I still remember the day when two dreadful eyes stared at me candidly, I felt so vulnerable that moment. I feel how frightful it would be for a girl to be touched so harshly. Her words of never being like her brother was an undoing of her beliefs in her own self. Was she at fault to take a stroll around her house? If yes then what mistake did a girl as young as of 2 years commit when she was raped by two “so called juveniles” in Delhi recently? I am sure she did not know how to seduce a man or for that matter even the meaning of the word ‘RAPE’! It is heart wrenching when I see our world falling into this dark abyss.
“I was 3 then and my whole world revolved just around my mumma, chocolates and Doraemon. I had started going to school. Our driver bhaiya as I called him back then was very friendly with me. He drove our school bus. He would make me sit on his laps when I was left alone in my bus and would pick me up to leave me at my doorstep. I liked him till that dreadful day. As usual I was coming home and was left alone on the bus. He stopped the bus suddenly and I was sitting on his lap and playing. He took me to the back of the bus and said he wanted to play with me to which I agreed willingly. He pulled up my skirt and removed everything I had worn below my waist. I started crying and told him that I wanted to go home but he slapped me hard. He insisted that I should keep quiet or else he’ll tell my teacher that I am a naughty girl. I didn’t know at that time what he wanted but I understand it now. He slid everything into me from his fingers to his hands to what I can’t say. It was dreadful, painful and very painful. I couldn’t comprehend what was happening; all I know was that I was in deep anguish. I was bleeding profusely and my eyes were brimmed with tears so much so that that everything looked blurred. He handled me so badly and I was far away from the reason as to why was he punishing me? I just hated bhaiya for giving me so much ache and misery. I decided never to talk to him again. That day he left me at the corner of the road as I was crying hard. I couldn’t walk as everything was sore so I sat there in the middle of the road pouring my heart out in distress. My mumma came running towards me and I narrated the whole incident to her. She just hugged me hard and I never saw that bhaiya and my old school again. As a child I became afraid of all the bhaiyas; from the watchman to all the vendors.
I’m a writer now but sometimes I still remember that dreadful day which has somehow changed my life. I’m unmarried and might always be like this!”
She being a little girl unaware of the fact what happened with her, now feels the pain behind that incident. She was just learning the depths behind the word ‘trust’ when she erased this word from her personal dictionary forever.
They tried to smile but always tears came out, they tried to sleep but memories haunted them, they lived but died everyday! It was not just a vaginal brutality but the matter of their whole life which was broken into pieces by some reckless people. They said they were disgraced and now are scared to face this world. Those girls who once had dreams in their eyes now carried the pictures of that horrific incident. They were consoled sometimes but always blamed to go out late at night. Those who were just stepping into the new world took their foot back and remained confined to the darkness of this world. They became afraid of dark and people around them. Tears became their best friend. They were afraid of their own reflection and never saw the mirror again. They kept cleaning themselves in a vague attempt to clean off the image of those dirty hands from their flesh. They stopped feeling anything and slowly became a living-dead!
I now stand at the bottom of this dark cliff in a dilemma, whether to climb it again and comfort the troubled ones, or bring down this cliff altogether to end this malice at once! I might be a tiny creature for this world to bring about a change but together we can make a difference! I might be a little one but I believe that my words can do wonders and so will yours! We heard the news of a little baby being raped during the time of “Navratara”, the time when we worship Goddess Durga for our well-being. So is this practice conducive for the world which cannot respect a woman? If no, then let’s stand together for make this space cleaner, safer and brighter!
About The Author
According to me, a person without the hunger for knowledge requires to have a new birth. I simply believe in four beautiful words, ‘Humility’, ‘Positivity’, ‘Passion’ and ‘Knowledge’.