HOW DO YOU GET OVER SOMEONE?

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I texted you after 2 months and after I once drunk dialled you in between the span of the time because staying away from each other has never been easier on me.

I texted you around 9 in the morning because I knew my late night prayers would never be answered. I started the conversation with this certain thing which was important but not the main focus and then before pouring my heart out to you I asked you, if you’re over it, over us because if you were I wouldn’t make a fool out of myself all over again. And if you were, I can move on with peace too.

You said yes. Yes – just a 3 letter word that rushed the blood in my veins at its fastest, my heart beat took up a notch, faster

Faster

Faster

Probably that’s the same I felt and the same my body reacted when you kissed me for the first time. But this time it also felt like my worst nightmare.

“Yes, I’m over it” the words constantly echoed in my head. I kept screaming at those

Get out of my head

Get out of my head

Get out of my head

Words. The words that broke my heart. What are the words that break your heart?

Worthless?

Undeserving?

Can’t?

Dumb?

I googled and the closest I got was a “list of 25 words that make other people feel bad/inferior”

I searched through the 25 words, I  couldn’t find ‘yes’.

I wanted to tell you I miss you

But you said you’re over it

I wanted to tell you we both were at fault and maybe we can fix it

But you said you’re over it

I wanted to tell you that relationships doesn’t work when we get our ego in between

But you said you’re over it

I wanted to tell you that I still feel lingered when I smell your fragrance in public randomly and that I haven’t yet forgotten it

But you said you’re over it

I wanted to tell you I have a mind that won’t shut up and I can be reckless and impatient at time but I expect you to be patient and help me overcome it. Because isn’t that what love is supposed to be about?

But you said you’re over it.

I wanted to tell you that I’d try and remain friends with you no matter how difficult it is or how badly it breaks my heart because the pain of having you as a friend is better than the pain of not having you in my life at all

There were 1000’s of other things that I wanted to tell you. That were going meticulously through my mind.

In and out

In and out

In and out

But you said you’re over it.

You said you’re over it and that’s when it hit me, you were never really into it.

And my friend once said to me – If they have decided to leave means that they’ve already left.

You were over it and long gone, it took me a while to realise I have to get over it too.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Divya Bhandari – Gargi College,DU

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