You too have used Tinder and Happn,
haven’t you? There’s no point lying to me here, because obviously I can’t hear you so technically you’re lying to yourself.
So you too used tinder, just like the most of the ‘tinderellas’ and ‘tinderfellas’ out there, to JUST MAKE FRIENDS? OK, I totally feel you there!
Anyway, I’ve not written this article to shame you about having explored dating apps. I’m here, to get you acquainted with this already trending concept of the ‘Hookup Culture’ that has very recently come to India and is now a common practice, brought to you by, the Western Culture.
There is nothing wrong in hooking up and experimenting with and exploring your interests. But it is good to analyse before blindly falling into the bait of the trend, to first know the pros and cons. It’s always better to know the consequences of your actions before discovering them for yourself when the damage is already done, isn’t?
We’re all human beings, and it’s very natural for us to have emotions. We all tend to get attached with people we vibe with, be it men or women. I’ll save the feminist debate for later.
And hookup culture is all about knowing how to control your emotions, and knowing when and when not to get attached. So, before following into the trend, we need to analyse if we’re the ones it is made for.
If you’re the kind of person who gets attached with people easily and tends to be emotional in most situations, that is, if your emotional quotient is high, the hookup culture might not be made for you.
But if you know the art of controlling your own emotions and can tame them accordingly, and if the thought of losing the person you hooked up with doesn’t scare you to death, dive right in if you want to!
The brain releases the oxytocin hormone when you’re happy. Also, this hormone is released when you’re falling in love or when you’re making love. This is why most people tend to get emotionally attached with someone they share a physical relationship with, and this is the reason it’s more difficult to move on from a failed marriage as compared to your high school love.
So, if your oxytocin levels rise then the peak and you tend to fall in love with a person you’re planning to do a ‘friends with benefits’ with, I suggest you either stay away from falling into the trap of the hookup culture, or work on your emotional tendencies.
Being mentally ready is what will make you have the right kind of experiences without having to regret them in future, and that, you don’t get hurt or look like a fool in the process.
To my girl squad reading this, most boys in our country have been conditioned in such a manner that it isn’t wrong for them to lose their virginity before marriage simply because they don’t possess a hymen, which is why they don’t need to work on their emotions in the majority of the cases while hooking up. But you will. But having sex when you’re not actually ready for it just because your boyfriend is, isn’t fair to you. So before giving into his needs, know what you really want to do. And learn to say ‘NO!’ It’ll help you go a long way. I need you to remember that, having sex won’t keep him if he doesn’t love you enough to sacrifice his temporary hormonal surges for you, and making babies won’t make him stay if you aren’t the one he really wants to marry.
That being said, I’m not going to define what is wrong and what is right for you, because that is for you to decide. But I’d definitely like to add that nothing is wrong- falling in love, falling in lust, hooking up with a cute stranger, having one night stands, having sex before marriage— NOTHING! If you’re mentally prepared and ready for it, that is.
About the Author:
Gaurangi Gupta (DAV College 10)