Facts U.S. Presidential Elections Unveil

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Ever since the US Presidential Elections 2016 campaign began, our (and Pakistan’s) beloved America has been a hot mess. The entire campaign mainly revolved around sex, sexual assault and legal Marijuana.

These elections have taught us some big lessons about the world, and they are as horrible as they can possibly be. But as these elections managed to step on every tiny ray of sunshine, they did make us feel proud of being an Indian, or maybe, about just not being an American.

Well, here are a few things that we learnt from the US Presidential Elections:

1.) Americans are dumb. Like super dumb; not everyone though, but majority. They are the ones to come up with the most amazing movies and sitcoms, but somehow, they showed plain stupidity when it came to elections. No wonder we steal all their jobs. *winks*

2.) Misogyny is cool. If you aren’t familiar with this term, let us tell you that it means ‘hatred for women’. No one has ever come out as openly misogynist as Trump since Kamaal R Khan and Ram Gopal Verma. It’s totally cool to go around talking about screwing any woman you want and sexually harassing them because you are rich and famous. It is said that the white community does not have any culture, but it surely reflected in favour of rape-culture.

3.) Supporting Racism is more important than Common Sense. Why ask for a legitimate leader when you have someone who just talks about throwing people out, who make you uncomfortable by their existence in their country? Trump has always talked lowly about communities which are not whites or Christians and has even spoken about deporting them back to their nations because less privileged people don’t deserve to co-exist with them, right? Well done, Murica!
4.) Go with horrible choices instead of even considering any other Candidate. Heard about  Gary Johnson or Jill Stien? No? Well that’s because the media never focused on them. Neither did the American public, because they are not from the two main parties- Republicans and Democrats (you know, like Congress and BJP) .The whole America kept crying about how horrible both these candidates are, but not for once did they try to learn about these candidates. Way to go!
5.) Hindu Mahasabha supports Trump. Maybe because he hates certain religions. Maybe?

6.) Women have to be likable. Apparently people didn’t like Hillary because she wasn’t likable much. Why? Maybe because she is a woman with a man’s ideals and that is so not acceptable. Plus, her husband sexually-harasses women. Well so does Trump, now I’m confused.

7.) There is no Global Warming. Your science teacher was lying and so was Leonardo DiCaprio, who made documentaries about the issue. All this precisely because Donald Trump thinks there’s no global warming and apparently so does the entire chunk of America which voted for him. Those polar bears are probably dying from cold.
8.) A lot of Indian black money to be used for betting on the elections is down the drain. All thanks to Narendra Modi’s strike on the big notes. Something good, surprisingly! Now we are forced to wonder did Modi plan this too?
9.) Canada is better than America. Canada’s immigration website crashed because so many people wanted to leave America as Trump was elected as the President. Need we say anything else?
10) Women candidates have to be voted for because they are women. Isn’t this what Hillary Clinton’s supporters said throughout the campaign? People were told to vote for the First Female American President, not for someone who could promise to be a better leader.

So for now, let’s just wait for Modi and Trump to meet so we can discuss how Modi’s hair and personality is so much better than Trump’s. We finally trumped America in the race of looks and well, common sense. Congratulations!

About the Author:

Sanya Thakur (UILS, PU Campus)

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